Wednesday, August 31, 2011
1980's Dating Video Disasters
In the early 1980's video dating was all the rage. Remember there was no internet then. This video dating company went out of business, someone found the tapes, and made this collage.
Whatever happened to these guys? Ellen Degeneres tracked down 3 of them:
Big Phil is still a pretty good looking guy! Maurice really let himself go.
The women they dated could have used a date rating standard if they would have had their own Rate-A-Date pads:
Or, if it is immediately apparent the date is bad, but you can tolerate the guy, get this notepad:
Tuesday, August 30, 2011
Bad Accident
What happened? What is that a picture of? How did his wife explain this to the police?
On July 30, 2011, Leroy Luetscher of Tuscon Arizona, dropped his pruning shears while gardening. The shears stuck into the ground blade first, the handle sticking up. He bent down to pick them up and slipped.
It may be a good time to have all young children leave the room - before you read the next few sentences...
Yes, he slipped, lost his balance. His head came down full force on the handle and the pruning shears handle went through his eyeball socket all the way to his neck. See the picture, the handle is inside his skull!
The doctors were able to reconstruct the eye socket and save the eye. He now has some minor eye lid swelling and a bit of double vision in he eye.
It is a miracle! Here is a joke he could tell all the neighborhood kids:
Q: What's worse that a pruning shears blade rammed into your eye socket?
A: A pruning shears handle rammed into your eye socket!
I hope he goes out and gets a tattoo to commemorate his miracle. Maybe he should try some of these:
Or maybe just an Oprah Winfrey tattoo will suffice. See Oprah Winfrey Tattoos
SpaceX Dragon To The Rescue?
The International Space Station (aka ISS) - floating several hundred miles above the earth - had a setback several weeks ago. Now that the last Space Shuttle has been retired, it is up to the Russians to bring supplies to the ISS. The Russians are using their outdated unmanned Soyuz rockets to deliver much needed supplies. The last shipment was unsuccessful, it exploded after take off. The Russians are saying they will not send up another one till they fix the problem that blew up this one. So the crew of the ISS are left without supplies, which will run out in November.
Now for the really cool part - The Dragon. The Dragon and Falcon9 are products of SpaceX - see http://www.spacex.com/ for more details. SpaceX is attempting to be the first privately funded manned spacecraft, and it plans on docking with the ISS some time in December.
The Falcon 9 is the rocket that will boost the Dragon spacecraft into orbit.
Here is a great picture of the Dragon capsule:
Here are the details:
Now the bad news - The Dragon will not be ready in time to save the ISS mission. The dragon will not be ready for docking till December. The ISS crew will need to leave the ISS by November 19th if the Russians can't get their act together and deliver supplies.
But if the Russians can deliver supplies, there will be people on board the ISS able to help with the docking. So we may see the first commercial
Reader "David" posted some interesting extra details in the comments. I will re-post his comment here. Thanks David!
Just a couple of corrections and some interesting details. First, last year became the first private company to launch a vehicle into orbit and renter that vehicle to a safe and successful- touchdown on Earth. Until now only the Russians The U.S. and the Chinese governments have been the only entities to do so. The Soyuz rocket did not explode during launch. It's upper stage failed to ignite and therefore could not reach orbit. The cause has been determined to be a faulty gas generator. The gas generator supplies the turbo pumps with their initial rotation until the flow of fuel or exhaust takes over the job. Also there are three other spacecraft being developed by private companies under contract with NASA in what is called the Commercial Orbital Transportation Services Program (COTS); Boeing has a capsule, Sierra Nevada is developing a small space-plane called Dream Chaser (way cool!) and Orbital Sciences is developing a non-reusable cargo ship. SpaceX has also entered Dragon and their rocket,the Falcon 9, into the Commercial Crew Development program (CC-Dev)which is for future manned missions.
Another couple of cool points about Dragon and the Falcon 9 are that Dragon will eventually land using it's rocket thrusters built into the side of the ship which will also be used for the emergency escape system and its main thrusters when in space and secondly, their other plan is to reuse the first stage. This will require the first stage to do a 180 degree flip after its upper stage has been separated, restart it's engines to slow down, flip again to reorient for reentry and then land in the ocean on a parachute system. Both of those things are super cool!
SpaceX is designing another rocket called the Falcon 9 Heavy which will be basically the same as Falcon 9 but with two more identical booster rockets strapped to either side of the main core stage. This will be the most powerful rocket in existence and second only to the Apollo era Saturn V. Furthermore SpaceX will have launch facilities in Cape Canaveral in Florida, Vandenburg Air Force Base in California which is currently under construction, and another facility, possibly in Texas. This is because SpaceX already has a huge number of manifested launches already on the books for satellite companies and others. They believe that they will be producing one rocket per week when they ramp everything up to full production Now for the absolute best part of all of this. They are doing everything for about 10% of what NASA would cost to do the same. They plane to achieve the Holy Grail of the space industry, launches for $1000 or less per pound. Historically the cost has been about $20,000 per pound per launch.
Photos courtesy of SpaceX/NASA
Sunday, August 21, 2011
October 21 Apocalypse
We all remember the Judgement day fiasco on May 21 of this year. But the media has seemed to have forgotten that the actual end of the world is coming October 21, 2011. At least - according to Harold Camping.
We haven't heard much from Harold lately. What has he been up to? He has been laying pretty low, out of the public's eye.
In June he suffered a stroke. He has been in the hospital and in recuperation since then. See the ETR May 17, 2001 post where I sort-of-predict he was to handle the fiasco by having a heart attack. I was not far off.
Here is the announcement they make about Harold's condition:
His radio station empire has pulled the plug on his radio show - at least for now. I assume harold will not come back - too embarrassing for the company. But they have not totally distanced themselves from harold. On the front page of the familyradio.com website there is a link "What Happened on May 21?". On this page they try to explain the fiasco. On may 21 the Rapture did occur, but it was a "Spiritual Rapture", which I do not completely understand.
The last sentence of their explanation is a blatant attempt to keep the fiasco alive and bring in more money:
Anyone can continue to beseech God for mercy because salvation and the election program are entirely in God’s hands.
According to their philosophy this is not true. We should have been all "judged" on May 21, that is final. How can we still be saved? Crazy.
If you really do think you still have a chance - you'd better show your faith to the world by getting one of these:
Friday, August 19, 2011
Gérard Depardieu Peed on Plane
Gérard Depardieu is actually a very famous French actor, he has starred in hundreds of films. Most of his films are in French, so the movie going masses in the U.S. are likely not to be familiar with him. But in most of the world he is a big deal!
Here is the story - He swears he was not intoxicated at the time. He was on a flight that was delayed on the tarmac. He asked to use the toilet - but was refused. So he did what he had to do. He peed on the carpet.
Afterwards he was very embarrassed and offered to clean up the mess. He claimed he has a prostate problem that ignited all this.
Look at the picture. He has really let himself go to pot. He needs to shape up and lose a few hundred pounds before peeing on another flight.
He is lucky. He can go home to sulk - and use his French Toast Stamp - almost all French citizens have one of these:
Sundays and Laxatives
Google Analytics is a free tool that lets you see search trends. What are people searching for in their browser?
My research has uncovered an interesting trend. Every Sunday - EVERY SUNDAY - the searches for "laxatives" increases significantly.
What could be the reason for this? I have thought of several possibilities:
- Laxative commercials on TV are finally sinking in to peoples consciousness after a weekend of TV watching
- Bad weekend diets, not enough fiber for 2 days?
- Medical school students researching
- NASCAR?
The last possibility about NASCAR may have some merit. Here - I've plotted the search trends for NASCAR:
Is there a correlation between laxative searches and NASCAR searches? It sure seems so! I am going to leave it to the read to ponder why - I don't know!
Since this blog entry may turn up when people search for "laxatives", I'll list a good product here. You can click on this and actually order it...
I wonder what type of person searches for laxative on a Sunday? You would think that the majority of people know what a laxative is, where to get it, how it works. Why search on Google?
You can perform your own searches for interesting trends. Here is the actually working trend tool. Select the "edit" link and enter your own terms. GIVE IT A TRY...
Please comment below if you uncover anything interesting!
NOTE: See my laxative-related story at http://elephanttoenailreport.blogspot.com/2011/08/puppies-as-laxative.html
Wednesday, August 17, 2011
Ninkles
Women have a new thing to worry about. Wrinkled Knees - aka "Ninkles". Maybe not so new, but the world has just begun to care.
As a woman age there are many factors that can lead to knee wrinkles. According to anti-ageing and hormone specialist Dr Cecilia Tregear, from London's Wimpole Skin Clinic, ninkles occur as a result of the loss of elasticity and collagen in the skin, which is caused by a combination of factors.
'Poor nutrition, sun damage, unbalanced or declining hormones — due to stress and approaching menopause — as well as a diet high in sugar, all conspire to create wrinkly knees.'
It is said that Nicole Kidman had Ninkles, but I don't believe that, she is to perfect for an affliction like this.
The picture to the left is a recent one of Elle Macpherson. See the close-up of her knee. Elle! You have Ninkles!
For normal women, I don't really see this as a problem. This is natural, and I bet most men really do not care.
But I take exception to the rich model-ish women who have made obscene amounts of money from us just by showing their bodies and nothing more. They owe it to use to get those Ninkles fixed or cover them up!
Maybe she should try this:
Bieber Gomez Breakup?
There has been a lot of buzz on the internet about Selena Gomez and Justin Bieber breaking up. I'm telling you now - it aint't so! They are still in love, just as much as ever!
Just look at the picture - she is so gorgeous - he is so cute! The were made for each other!
This current breakup rumor is just one of the many silly rumors floating on the web. The silliest of them all is that Selena dumped Justin for Chris - Don't Call Me Charlie - Brown. See Here..., yuck! That is a stupid rumor.
Someday, they will have to break up. We all actually want it to happen someday, just not now. Imagine how sad it would be if they get married and Justin never gets to experience the real thrill of millions of women adoring him.
To help Justin prepare for the future - order this T-Shirt:
But - Pirate Ducks are not SAD!
Tuesday, August 9, 2011
Addiction: Wet, Slimy hair
This is one of the strangest things.
This man has an obsession with pulling wet hair from people's drains. He really only likes shower drains. Long brown hair is his favorite. Above all, it has to be slimy and wet! He performs this ritual about 100 times a year. This involves scouting for drains that have not been picked at before.
This is the way it goes:
We must wonder - After having his addiction broadcast on TV and the internet, will he ever be able to get a date? Probably so, there are people out there, like this woman, for example:
Her favorite is eating TV remote controls!
This man has an obsession with pulling wet hair from people's drains. He really only likes shower drains. Long brown hair is his favorite. Above all, it has to be slimy and wet! He performs this ritual about 100 times a year. This involves scouting for drains that have not been picked at before.
This is the way it goes:
- Stress builds up...God knows, life is stressful...
- He finds someone with a drain that he has not mined before.
- He gets a coat hanger or something similar and works to pull out hair from their shower drain.
- He fondles the hair. His stress disappears!
- Several seconds later he is disgusted by the hair and throws it away
We must wonder - After having his addiction broadcast on TV and the internet, will he ever be able to get a date? Probably so, there are people out there, like this woman, for example:
Her favorite is eating TV remote controls!
Tuesday, August 2, 2011
Puppies as a Laxative
Hippocrates, as you may know, is often described as the founder of modern medicine. You may not know that Hippocrates had it in for puppies.
In the book Hippocrates, you may wish to follow along HERE for a good translation. He describes various animal meats and how they affect the body.
He states:
The flesh of puppies moistens and passes by stool, still more by urine.
Translation: Eating puppies will help you poop and pee better. A great laxative. I guess if you get desperate you'll try anything.
Later in his book be explains that puppy meat should be boiled. Who knew?!
Hedgehogs are also good as a laxative, but he does not mention how to prepare them. I am assuming boiling would be best.
Hippocrates: Eat a boiled puppy, you'll feel better!
Why don't they teach us the good and interesting stuff in school? We have to learn about such things on the streets...
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